The Middle-Earth Autobiographies!
by Dalamar the Dark
Summary: What the characters in Middle-Earth REALLY think of what happened during their time!!!
1. Merry! Short and...well...probably bad.

Welcome to my story! In this, I write secret diary things for people in LOTR. More or less, it's what happens in their life time as they view it.  
  
Enjoy! Also I know it's a bit stupid…but anyway…  
  
MERRY  
  
Hi, I'm Merry! I love food, being lazy, food, being worshipped, food, riding Shadowfax, and food!  
  
It all began one day, when Biblo Bannigs (Or is it Bbilo Baggsins?) had his 111th birthday party. Most of the people in the shire went, of course, but Pippin and I were most important. Of course, Pippin was just my assistant. We set off a firecracker, you see, and it turned into a dragon. Of all the people there, I was the only one who wasn't scared witless!!!  
  
Then of course, the idiots found the Ring (idiots = everyone but me) and needed to destroy it and all. Of course, since Pippin and I were the most important of the Fellowship, we arranged a…dramatic…entrance into Erlond's council. He didn't like it, but he was, of course, impressed with our brilliance, strength and durability.  
  
And you can't forget at Weathertop, even before the council, where my clever idea of lighting a fire to lure the Ringwraiths in, so Agarorn could defeat them. Of course, Frood – I mean Frodo, sorry – got injured and all, but…ah, well. No big loss.  
  
And, as you may know, I was totally the member of the Felloswip who held everyone together. sniff, sniff I wish I hadn't been captured – obviously, if I had stayed with the Felliwshop NOTHING bad would've happened to them. And Pippin dying – I mean, he was my companion 'n all, but he wasn't really that bright. Not nearly as smart as, for example, me. AND he ate my mushrooms when we were at Rivendell sniff so I'm glad he's dead! Muwahahahaha!  
  
And, no, I never wanted the Ring. I was above all that. All I wanted was to see Frood to safety, and even that – my one desire – was denied me. sniff, sniff Well, at least he destroyed it. Personally, I think the finger thing was a bit, well, unnecessary, but…  
  
So – in sum – I was the perfect Fellowboat member, but everything bad happened to me, so it LOOKED like I wasn't. But I WAS!! 


	2. The real Aragorn...yes I know it's lame....

Hello and thanks for the reviews!!!!!!!!!!! And never forget, don't overuse exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
ARAGORN  
  
I am the noble and brave Aragorn. I presume I should begin my tale at the Inn of the Prancing Pony, where I was known as Strider. Though hardly luxurious, the inn was at least modestly clean and the food, though only marginally eatable and hardly nourishing, was a necessary commodity, and therefore I, albeit unhappily, consumed it.  
  
At this time, I noticed a very uncomfortable hobbit entering the inn with three others. Straining to hear, I noticed the words "Gandalf", and later "Wizard" mentioned. I decided to keep a close eye on the hobbit, and to a lesser degree his companions.  
  
Later, I noticed he was carrying the One Ring when he accidentally put it on in the taproom. (~A/N: If you don't know, a taproom is the part of an inn where people eat and drink.~) When he took it off, I quickly took him into my rented living quarters before he could cause any more trouble. The Nazgul came, and I protected them and was able to smuggle them out. From then on, I became protector and guide to the hobbits.  
  
Of course, our next major clash was at Weathertop, where several of the hobbits foolishly lit a fire, drawing near the Nazgul. Using skill and dexterity, I fended them off, but Frodo was injured. However, my skill in herbs kept him alive until the elves could offer assistance.  
  
In Rivendell, I officially joined the Fellowship. Gandalf, of course, was relieved that I had been able to assist the hobbits, even if he had not.  
  
However, I enjoyed my part in the Fellowship, if only because I was able to help. I, of course, was above corruption.  
  
Being the leader of our group after Gandalf "died", I had many responsibilities. However, one of the most prominent obligations – keeping the Fellowship together, dry, and happy – I succeeded at most admirably.  
  
All in all, being with the Fellowship was kind of a pain in the ass, having to look after everyone and all, but it was fun. We got to kill orcs.  
  
~A/N: Okay, I know it's lame. Give me a break please? I haven't exactly written too many fanfics. Constructive criticism is good, please R&R!~ 


	3. The shortest yet! Gimli! I think it's la...

Ook, new chapter! Okey dokey, here comes…the very short chapter…  
  
GIMLI  
  
Hello, I am Gimli the dwarf. I used to hate all elves, but don't anymore. I still hate Arwen.  
  
I suppose "it" all began at the Council of Elrond. There was the ring, and I tried to smash it 'n all, with some other dude's axe, but it didn't work. Then the Elrond dude got mad, and I got a headache.  
  
So then the Frodo dude said he'd take the ring dude to Mordor and throw it into some Mt. Fate or Mt. Doom or something. And then the Gandalf dude said he would help too, and then so did the Aragorn dude, and the Legolas dude, and the Boromir dude, and me, and the Sam dude, and the Merry dude, and the Pippin dude.  
  
So then the Fellowship of the Ring set off to go to Mordor and destroy the ring dude. We eventually went into a mine thingy, called Moria. My cousin dude used to live there but now he doesn't, because he's dead.  
  
In the Moria place, the Gandalf dude got thrown into some bottomless pit or whatever with the Balrog dude.  
  
And then we went to Lothlorien, where the Haldir dude nearly speared me on an arrow. Argh. And then the Galadriel dudette gave me some of her hair, which was cool.  
  
~A/N: Dudette = female dude. I know it's pathetic.~  
  
So then we went down the river thingy, to Amon-Hen (sounds like a foreign breed of chicken), where the Boromir dude died and the Merry dude and the Pippin dude got captured. It was…argh.  
  
And then the three dudes of us – the Aragorn dude, the Legolas dude, and I – went to go "hunt some orc", and find the Merry and Pippin dudes.  
  
The end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~A/N: The end of FOTR, that is.~ 


End file.
